11 Important Statements Your Inner Child Wants to Hear From You

Meet Dan, a man in his 30’s who is facing unhappiness in his life.

He puts on a façade at work, but internally struggles with depression and anger. He envisioned a different life by now - married with kids, a suburban home, and weekend family activities. But instead, he is trapped in an unhealthy relationship with partner who is very controlling. 

Although he wants to leave, he is afraid of being single and upsetting his partner.

His aunt, who has keen intuition, recognizes his distress during a family gathering and offers a listening ear. In private, Dan confides in her, admitting, "I'm miserable and am at a loss as to what to do."

Fortunately, Dan's aunt understood the power of professional counseling. She knew it could help one to reflect on their past and explore why they feel the way they do - whether that be depression, anger, or challenges with self-acceptance.

She also knew that by addressing these issues, individuals can begin to make lasting changes in their lives.

Inner Healing Work

She suggested Dan attend therapy to help with "inner healing work."

Despite initial hesitation, Dan followed through. Over the course of a year in counseling, he learned about addressing childhood wounds, emotional healing, and overcame some heavy personal challenges.

It was not an easy task either. In fact, at times he disliked therapy because he had to face unpleasant truths and felt quite vulnerable.

However, he persevered, driven by his desire for a better life and his belief in the benefits of inner child healing. Today, Dan is enjoying being single and looks forward to a future relationship that is healthier. He continues his inner healing work and is grateful for those that have helped him along his path.

The Reality of the Inner Child

We all have an inner child that represents our earliest experiences and emotions.

This inner child can embody both positive traits (playful, happy, excited) and negative traits (hurt, confused, scared). Through therapy, Dan became familiar with his wounded inner child, who felt small and insecure. He learned how to communicate with and support this aspect of himself.

Have you engaged in inner child healing work?

If you're feeling the pain of an inner child that has been hurt, there are steps that can help you begin to heal. Taking the time to reconnect with this vulnerable part of yourself is the first step in a journey towards healing and wholeness. Affirmations such as "I love and accept myself", "It's okay to be me" or even "I will make it through this pain" can help nurture your inner child and have a long-lasting impact.

11 Things You Can Say to Your Inner Child to Help Them Heal

Repeat them as needed for maximum effect and to feel more whole.

1. I Apologize.

“Dear inner child, I apologize for the hardships you faced growing up. My actions, such as ignoring or repressing feelings, may have contributed to your pain and for this, I'm sorry”.

2. You Are Adored.

“Dear inner child, I adore you. You may not have felt loved at times when you were little. However, know that you have ALWAYS been loved. I am here to love and support you fully, without any conditions attached.”

3. I Hear You.

“I understand that you have been trying to get my attention. You want me to hear you and I am here for you. I know that when I shushed you, it must have hurt you deeply and made you feel like your voice didn't matter. But you do matter. Dear inner child, I am fully listening. What do you want me to know? This is a safe space - please share what's on your heart with me."

4. You Didn’t Deserve This.

Tell them, “You didn't do anything wrong and none of what happened to you was your fault. I want to make sure that you know: you did not deserve any of it.”

5. You’re Doing Great!

“Dear inner child, wow, you did an incredible job! You're a survivor. Despite feeling scared and alone, you persevered. You're a warrior and a true hero(ine).”

6. Such Gratitude.

“Dear inner child, I appreciate you for being so resilient and courageous. Thank you for standing up for yourself, even in the toughest of times. Thank you for staying authentically you when it was hard to do so. I am grateful for every part of you - the strength and courage, the wisdom and protection.

7. I Forgive You.

By forgiving yourself, you join many others who have struggled with self-hatred and shame. People often blame themselves for plenty that they did, didn't do, or figured were their fault. Let go of this cycle and forgive yourself.

“Dear inner child, I understand that you made mistakes, but I forgive you. I let go of past regrets and embrace the present. Let's leave the past behind and live in peace and contentment.”

8. Let’s Work Together.

Reparenting the parts of me that were wounded and nurturing them has increased my connection to my inner child. We are no longer fragmented, but one. Although there may be some occasions when old hurts resurface, I know that we can work through it together.

Through this inner conversation, we can tell each other "Let's do this!" It's a partnership. Little me wants to be free, happy, have fun and play. At times, she reminds me of that and other times I must encourage her to relax and let adult me handle things.

So let your inner child know:

“We got this! Let’s work together!”

9. Your Wants and Needs Matter.

“Dear inner child, your wants and needs are valid. Stop basing decisions on others, take time to check in with yourself. Your inner child is valuable and deserves to have their wants and needs recognized and met, even if they were neglected in the past.”

10. Release

“Dear inner child, you can relax and release the past. You can let go and live in the present with peace and happiness.”

11. You Are Enough

“Dear inner child, you are always enough. You are so worthy and no matter how you’re feeling, you are enough.”

Your Inner Child: Wrapping It Up

The idea of healing your inner child may be new to some, but it has been a proven therapeutic tool for many.

I have personally experienced its benefits in healing past wounds and addressing new ones. Re-parent your inner child to release negative emotions that cause sadness, depression, anxiety, fear, loneliness, shame, etc.

Regularly communicate with yours and affirm them with unconditional love. Your health and happiness matter, and you are worthy of a life filled with peace and happiness, breaking free from the cycle of suffering.

To help you along your journey, check out the following:

5 Thoughtful Shadow Work Journal Prompts to Heal Your Wounded Inner Child

Photo by Zaur Giyasov on Unsplash