9 Friendly Ways to Tell if You're REALLY Over Your Ex

By Dominica


Last Updated: October 12, 2021

Heartbreak over an ended relationship can be quite painful.

If you’ve ever been through a breakup, you can probably relate. The aftermath of a breakup can cause you to experience a myriad of negative emotions, such as depression, fear, anger, anxiety, feeling unworthy, rejected, and more.

A common feeling that many people experience after going through a breakup is not being able to move on. There are some people who tend to hold on even if the relationship has ended long ago.

Do you ever wonder if you’re truly over your ex or are you still hanging on? Is your heart healed, polished, and ready to give to another or does it still belong to your ex? Do you profess proudly to your friends that you’re over them and moved on, yet you still secretly cry or suffer because you miss them?

The following are some signs that you may not be entirely over your ex and ready to move on.


9 Signs You're Not Over Your Ex Yet

1. Social Media Stalking

Periodically checking the social media of an ex is normal. After all, we are curious beings. However, if you are constantly checking on your ex’s social media pages to see what they’re up to, you may not be over them.

  • Do you look through all their pictures to make sure they’re not seeing another person?
  • Do you stalk every one of their social media sites just waiting to see what they have to say?
  • Do all sorts of negative emotions arise when you see pictures of them having fun with other people?

If so, you may not quite be over your ex.

2. Your Friends Tell You Flat Out You’re Not Over Them

Your friends may know you better than you do. They are the only ones who see who you truly are and they tend to know if you are over your ex or not.

  • Are you constantly bringing up your ex in conversations that they don’t belong in?
  • Are you constantly mentioning their name to see what your friends have to say?

If your friends are telling you that you are not over your ex, they are most likely right.

3. Always Looking At Old Pictures

Most couples take a lot of pictures together while in a relationship.

Some put them up on social media, while others are content with them on their phone or tablet. Do you find yourself looking at old pictures of you and your ex quite a bit?

Reminiscing about an ex sometimes is normal. After all, you were once head over heels in love. However, if you’re wanting to heal your heart and move on, you may want to stop looking at old photos of you and your ex for a while. Stay in the present and take new photos of you having fun now.

You don’t have to delete old photos. Some people do, but it’s not necessary. Just take a break from looking at you and your ex until your heart is healed and you’ve clearly moved on.  

Is this resonating? Read this next: Recent Breakup? Tips to Help You Get Through the Rough Patch

4. You’re Sleeping With Them

When people breakup, someone will typically propose the idea of staying friends.

In the majority of cases, this isn’t a great idea. Down the road once you’ve both healed and moved on, being acquaintances or friends may work, but initially, it’s helpful to take some time apart.

If you’re still sleeping with your ex, even if you both consider your relationship to be a friendship, you may not be over them. It can be challenging to be friends with someone you have romantic feelings for. And, it can be tough to heal and move on when you’re experiencing intimacy with them.

5. You Can’t Change Your Relationship Status

Changing your relationship status can be one of the hardest things for some people after a break-up. Have you made the change? If not, why?  

6. You Become Very Emotional

If you’re losing it emotionally when you hear songs that remind you of your ex, or walk into your favorite restaurant, you may still need some time to heal.

Feeling a twinge of sadness when things remind you of your ex is normal, but if you’re spiraling into a state of deep depression, give yourself more time to grieve before moving on.

7. You Go Where You Think They Will Be

If you are planning your life around where you think you ex will be so that you run into them, you may not be over them.

For example, if you know that your ex will be eating at a certain restaurant every Friday night, and you plan on meeting friends there so that you can see them, you may need more time to get over them.

Running into them by accident may happen, and that’s alright. However, you could subconsciously be planning on living your life according to their schedule, so be sure to check yourself and your motives.

8. You Still Text Each Other A Lot 

If you and your ex are texting regularly, you may not be over each other. 

Sometimes it’s hard to get over someone when you’re still in contact. Do an honest evaluation of why you’re still texting each other so much. Is it because you’re lonely? Using each other as a “filler” until you meet someone else? Or can you genuinely be friends with no emotional strings attached?

9. You Only Watch Your Ex’s Favorite Shows

Did your ex love Wheel of Fortune and Grey’s Anatomy and now you have to watch every episode, even though before you never did? This is a clear sign you miss your ex and might not be over them.

Healing Your Heart And Moving On After A Breakup

Getting over an ex can be tough.

After a breakup, you need time to heal and move on. If you don’t take enough time, or you don’t do anything to heal the pain you’re feeling, you may continue to struggle with emotional pain.

Do you see yourself in any of these behaviors?

If so, do some inner digging to see why you’re hanging on.  And, consider doing some inner healing work as you work to heal and move on.

Need some help?

Here’s a wonderful, guided journal and devotional with 50 prompts to help you heal and move on after a breakup.

Begin an inner journey to turn heartache into an opportunity where you can do some serious soul searching, become more self-aware, and rediscover who you are outside of a relationship.

Healing After a Breakup: A 50-Day Devotional & Guided Inner Work Journal

Photo by whoislimos on Unsplash


One comment on “9 Friendly Ways to Tell if You're REALLY Over Your Ex”

  1. I wonder if anyone really knows what it feels like to have all you do look upon and judged? These opinions don't go for everyone. I deal with everyone I've known in a different way because they have done different things to end it. God has always answered my call and I felt different because of who I am. It does well for me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.