Caution: 6 Strong Signs That You Have a Manipulative Partner

By Tatenda


Last Updated: August 9, 2022

You’re likely reading this article for one of these two reasons:

1. You thought the title was interesting, or

2. You are trying to figure out if your partner is manipulative. 

If it’s the latter, there is a high chance you are in a scornful and unkind relationship. You even thinking that your partner could be manipulative is a cause of concern on its own. 

When you are in love with someone, it can be difficult to spot their manipulative tendencies, so sometimes, we need help from others. Sometimes we overreact to situations and make irrational conclusions, so it’s always best to dig deeper and successfully comprehend the situation. 

I’m glad you came across this article; below are some of the common signs of a manipulative partner. 



6 Signs You Have a Manipulative Partner

1. They are passive aggressive.

A manipulative partner will show passive-aggressive tendencies.

They will say one thing when they mean another and often not express themselves clearly, leaving you guessing. They create a tense environment which is difficult to maneuver as their concerns won’t be clear.

Because the issue is not clearly communicated, you will find yourself anxious as you think you are at fault but not sure for what exactly. 


2. They constantly threaten to leave.

Threats about leaving the relationship or taking the kids away can be used in a manipulative manner.

The person who makes these threats might do so just so that their partner bends over and does what they want or walk on eggshells around them. It creates insecurity in the relationship and makes it challenging to discuss any underlying issues that could be in the relationship. 


3. They twist facts.

Manipulative people play around with the truth so that it makes them look like the better person.

They distort events, gaslight you and selectively recall an incident, then narrate it in a manner that suits their agenda. They will alter reality in order to confuse you, make themselves look like heroes or make themselves more vulnerable.

No matter how they do this, the goal is usually for you to do what they want, no matter how it makes you feel. 


4. They isolate you.

Because you love them, they know it will take some time before you notice their manipulative tendencies.

However, they are also aware of the fact that your family and friends can see this side of them sooner and help you see it too. To avoid or rather delay this, they will isolate you from all your loved ones.

This way, they know that no one is close enough to know exactly what is happening in the relationship, and you have no one to get a second opinion from.


5. They are always the victim.

Manipulative people are never at fault.

They are always victims of someone else. They are never wrong, and they will do their best to make sure that you take the blame for their behavior. If they are violent, it’s your fault you made them angry and violent.

They cheated because you never have time for them or something like that. They do this so that you feel terrible and take responsibility for their actions. 


6. They compare you to others.

When manipulative people use comparison, the motive is almost always shady.

They do so that you feel less than and hurt. They will tell you about how their ex was so much better than you or how you should be more like somebody else. This will make you feel inadequate. 



How to Cope With a Manipulative Partner

Being with someone who is manipulative is draining and exhausting.

Manipulation is an abusive tendency that will likely result in you feeling guilty, confused and doubting yourself. Over time, you might find it challenging to form positive relationships because of your past experience. 

If the material in this article has just confirmed one of your greatest fears, don’t beat yourself up.

You’re not alone.

It’s a good thing you now know exactly the kind of person your partner is. You are now in a position to make an informed decision regarding how you want to move forward. 


Set Firm Boundaries

Setting firm boundaries is the first step toward protecting yourself from a manipulative partner.

At first, they might try to push and ignore those boundaries but do your best to remain firm. It might also be helpful to talk to a trusted friend about how you feel and what you think. The other person will be able to tell you what they think based on their observation of your relationship.

They can also help you with the support you need to uphold your boundaries. 

The damage that comes with being manipulated doesn’t vanish overnight. You might need to consider therapy with a professional therapist. They will help through the healing process and provide you with the tools and strategies you might need. 

In some cases, being in a manipulative relationship might be doing you more evil than good, and it could be better to entirely leave the relationship. This might be a difficult decision to make, but we all deserve to be with people who love us.  

No matter what path you choose to take, always put yourself first. Do what brings you joy and allows the best version of yourself to flourish. 

Photo by RODNAE Productions


10 comments on “Caution: 6 Strong Signs That You Have a Manipulative Partner”

  1. Thank you for your articles and ways in helping many people. God bless you in this. I feel so much better and I can help others with their issues. Thank you

  2. Your words are always motivating and have helped improved my relationship at home and beyond. I have also gained considerable competence to counsel other people to improve themselves. Thank you, and please do more.

    1. We love to hear these comments, Ismaila! We are so happy we could provide you with helpful information, and that you are staying motivated. Cheers!

    1. Many of us have been in the same situation Daisha. You can't help what you don't know, but once your eyes are opened, you can do something to protect yourself if you feel you need to. We are wishing you luck!

  3. I lived in a manipulative relationship for twelve years and got completely used up. Finally, I left the marriage. It took a long time for me to get my power back and although it's been twenty years, I still have flashbacks and am not the same person. I went to counseling, we went, too but he was older and had definite ideas of how women should behave. This is the first time I've written about it. It has been cathartive! Thank you!!

    1. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Linda. It is not easy to talk about these things, or to move past them. It sounds like it was a good decision for you to leave, and it takes so much strength to do so. You are not the same person, you can be whomever you want to be now! We are so happy to be a part of your journey, and wishing you so much luck.

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