Do You Think You Are Affectionate Enough? Let’s See

By Dominica


Last Updated: February 7, 2021

Have you ever taken time to gauge how affectionate you are?  Has your partner ever told you that you weren’t that affectionate?  Or maybe you’re the affectionate one and you wish your partner would be the same.

Affection can play a significant part in a relationship. If your partner doesn’t feel like they are getting enough, they could become hurt, angry, resentful, sad, and problems could ensue down the road.

The same goes for you.

Fortunately, revitalizing affection in a relationship is possible with some helpful information and a firm commitment to do your part.

Types Of Affection

There are various types of affection, such as emotional and physical. We have emotional needs that we want fulfilled to feel secure and loved without conditions. Emotional needs can be met in different ways, such as affirmations, support, and communication.

Physical needs are physical desires that we desire to be fulfilled, like kissing, hugging, or physical intimacy. It may also simply mean spending quality time engaging in deep and meaningful ways.

Every person is different when it comes to affection. Many people think that women tend to be more affectionate. While this may be true, there are plenty of men out there who are quite affectionate too.  Both men and women desire affection in some form or fashion, so it’s helpful to know how to be affectionate and occasionally gauge how you’re doing in regards to your relationship.

Gauge Your Affection Level

Some people come across as quite macho and independent, which can be very appealing for some people.  Even though they might not voice their desire to receive affection, they tend to desire it.

Other people are quite open about how much affection they desire in a relationship. They tend to be more open-hearted and able to communicate their wants and needs fairly easily.

What’s your affection level like in your current relationship?

Are you freely giving affection?  Do you show attention and affection by giving compliments?  Do you give hugs and words of encouragement?  Are you making the time to be intimate regularly?  How about cuddling or holding hands?

Do you know if your partner likes affection? If so, how much?

Take a few minutes to do a check on how affectionate you have been. Maybe you’re waiting for your partner to show you affection. If you’re both at a standstill regarding affection, have a chat about the topic.

You may even want to go ahead and be the one to make the first move with some gentle words of affirmation or praise.  You’ll most likely get a good response, and they may start being more affectionate as well.

Talk About Affection

Do you and your partner ever talk about your emotional and physical needs?  Have you told them what you like and need? Do you need a hug every day or two that shouts “I love you!” or for them to tell you on a regular basis?

Would you like them to hold your hand and cuddle with you sometimes?  Do they like it when you flirt with them and let them know they are still sexy?  Talk to each other about how you both can be on the same page when it comes to meeting each other’s affection needs in a healthy manner.

Learn Each Other’s Love Language

Dr. Gary Chapman has a book entitled, “The Five Love Languages”, which is a wonderful book that discusses the five most common ways men and women tend to FEEL loved.  They include words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time and physical touch.

Both you and your partner can read the book and discuss what your love languages are.  Maybe your partner’s primary love language is acts of service, so you know that when you do something for your sweetheart, they feel loved.

Maybe your primary love language is words of affirmation. If so, it would be helpful for your partner to know this so they can be sure to give you compliments and supportive affirmations on a regular basis.

Take the time to learn your top “love languages” and share with each other practical ways to honor them for one another.

Affection Waning Over Time

Typically, in the beginning of relationships, there tends to be a lot of emotional and physical affection. Over time, though, this can wane.  That’s actually quite normal.

Therefore, you have to make the effort to keep the affection levels alive and well.  For some people, all it takes is regular reminders.  Check out relationship-building apps are out there to help your relationship thrive. There are some, such as Love Nudge, that will help you learn you and your partner’s love language, as well as set goals and receive “nudges” to strengthen your relationship bond.

Are You Happy With Your Affection Level?

How do you think you are doing with affection in your relationship?

Could you be doing better?

Could your partner?

Increasing quality affection in a relationship doesn’t take as much effort as you think. Showing affection in many ways can become second nature.

If you don’t think you’ve been affectionate enough, go ahead and make some changes today. You can make a list of ways you can show your partner affection and chances are they will turn right around and give you more as well.

It’s well worth the effort.


Photo by Olya Kobruseva from Pexels


One comment on “Do You Think You Are Affectionate Enough? Let’s See”

  1. (No subject)
    this reading helped me to know the pros and cons about affectionate will will guide and to understand people better.

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