“Green Flags” To Look For When Dating

By Dominica


Last Updated: June 11, 2021

We are often advised to look out for the ‘red flags’ in relationships. Whether it be a romantic, family, or platonic relationships, red flags are the warning signs that let you know something is not quite right with the other individual or relationship. These negative traits can be evident from the start of the relationship or they can be revealed over a period of time. Examples of red flags include abuse, narcissism, gaslighting, and possessive behavior.


While red flags receive the most notice and concern, we must not forget about the ‘green flags.’ Like red flags, there are a wide array of green flags to look for in a partner. Green flags are the positive aspects of the other individual or relationship that keeps us motivated and invested.

Healthy relationships are founded and flourish on the presence of green flags. In a world with so much darkness, it is important to look for light.

Below are five ‘green flags’ you should look for before investing in a new relationship:


1. You Are Free To Be Yourself

One of the most important aspects of any relationship is comfortability in being who you really are. We often feel like we need to put up a front and hide our real self in fear that others will not like us. In fact, it is rare nowadays to find someone you can trust enough to be 100% authentic around. Thus, if you discover a connection that allows you to be your true self, push forward and do not look back.


2. The Connection Between Runs Deeper Than Surface Level

A lot of today’s relationships are built on shallow things, such as attraction, status, or wealth – things that will only allow the relationship to go so far. Without a real connection, the relationship will quickly fizzle. Find someone with who you can relate on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level. Having these deep bonds with another individual shows promise for your relationship.


3. Your Cheek Bones Hurt From The Constant Smiles And Laughs

You get into a relationship because you enjoy being in the company of the other person. Regularly smiling, laughing, and joking around are definite signs that the relationship has potential. You never have to pretend to be happy in the relationship because the other person brings out genuine joy in you, to the point where those around you notice. This is an apparent green flag when looking for a partner.


4. Your Goals, Values, and Morals Align

An important part of a relationship is that it can grow, even more so, that it can grow in the same direction. While you and your partner do not have to have identical beliefs, goals, morals, etc., it is essential that they are similar between the two of you. You two should have alike visions of what the future of your relationship looks like and how it fits in with each other. Without these aligned goals, values, and morals, your relationship will only mature so far.  


5. You Let Your Guard Down

It is common to put walls up and guard our hearts. Especially after have being hurt in the past, it becomes easy to shove off the idea of love. You never expose your vulnerabilities or weaknesses because you are afraid they will be used against you. Nevertheless, a real relationship requires you to let your guard down and release that dominant defense mechanism. If you can trust your partner enough to show them the vulnerable side of yourself, without the fear of being judged or left, you have a green flag! This is a signal that you and your partner have a strong connection that may lead to a long-term commitment.


The idea of a relationship can be intimidating, especially if your track record is not the most successful. Perhaps you have been met with all the red flags but none of the green. It is unfortunate, but it happens more than we like to acknowledge. Nevertheless, there are relationships that demonstrate green flags. 

The above green flags are just a few of the many to look for when thinking about entering a relationship. If your partner exhibits these green flags, you are well on your way to a healthy relationship.

Remember, it is not an end-all, be-all situation if your partner does not embody all of the above green flags. If you find yourself catching feelings for an individual but they do not exemplify all of these qualities, you do not necessarily need to throw in the towel. They could just provide additional guidance to your (hopefully) already helpful relationship. But, if your partner does not display at least a few of these traits, it may be time to take a step back and evaluate your current relationship.


Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.