Feeling connected emotionally with your partner or spouse is a big deal for many people. While some may cringe at the thought, others really crave that deep and meaningful emotional connection.
For your relationship to really flourish, connecting at that deeper, more intimate level is helpful. However, many couples admit that it’s tough for them to feel emotionally connected that goes beyond the surface.
Maybe you’re the one in the relationship that desires a deeper connection. Or perhaps you’re the one that gets flack from your partner because they don’t think you’re showing up at that deeper, emotional level.
Either way, the good news is that there are things both of you can do to learn how you can become more emotionally connected with each other.
First, let’s discuss why an emotional connection is deemed so important.
When you are connected emotionally to another person, you feel it. You feel like that person is really present when you’re sharing your thoughts, emotions, and day-to-day life.
You feel more secure, like someone’s actually got your back no matter what.
You feel like what you want and need matter. That YOU matter.
You know that you can rely on your partner for unconditional love and strength, which are both important in relationships. If your connection is shallow, your relationship will feel shallow. You won’t feel like you can confide in each other and you may have trouble trusting each other.
Ever feel alone in the world?
Well, if you’re deeply connected emotionally with your partner, you may not have to feel so alone. That authentic connection can be the glue that gets both of you through trials and tribulations that may come along your journey.
Now that you know some of the reasons an emotional connection matters, here are some tips to help you enjoy a deeper, more intimate and authentic emotional bond with your partner:
To grow your emotional connection, tune into your partner often. By tune in, I mean take your focus off everything else and bring it to your partner. I don’t mean all the time, but regularly. It’s easy to get off in your own world with your daily chores, duties, hobbies, and so on. And, when life gets busy, it’s easy to neglect the emotional connection between you and your partner.
So, tune into them frequently. Give your full attention when engaging with them. Be present. Tune into what they want and need. Commit to meeting them under the surface level. Gaze in their eyes. Connect where they are, even if they’re in a bad mood or struggling with something.
When you have your antenna up, you can tune into what your partner wants and needs in the relationship. And, it’s quite likely they will do the same in return.
Communication is so important in a relationship and active listening goes right along with that. Active listening is really hearing what your partner is saying. It’s actually wanting to hear whatever it is they are sharing, even if you’ve already heard about it. Even if it makes you uncomfortable.
It’s affirming them, looking them in the eyes and nodding your head to show interest. It’s letting them freely share without you interrupting them or walking away.
When you practice active listening, you are deepening your emotional connection. This will benefit both of you and your relationship.
If you want to go deeper with your partner, be sure to share at a deeper level. This requires vulnerability and authenticity. It’s sharing what’s going on in your head and heart; your fears, disappointment, guilt, as well as your dreams and positive emotions.
Trust that as you share your heart, they will do the same in return. However, even if they don’t share at the depth you are, that’s alright. Let them connect with you at the level they can.
When you look at your partner in the eyes, you form a deeper bond with them. Many couples do this in the beginning of a relationship and then get away from it down the road. You’ve got to make the effort to make eye contact with your partner regularly to form a deeper bond. It’s also helpful to make eye contact during and after your love making sessions. This may feel a bit awkward for some, but doing so can really take your relationship to a new level.
Sometimes it’s easier to share your innermost feelings through written word, so feel free to express your heart via a poem or letter occasionally. Those that have a tough time speaking their innermost feelings may feel freer to express themselves in writing. You can do this via text messages too, but it may be more powerful if you take the time to craft an email or letter.
There are some wonderful couple retreats available that will help you and your partner grow closer in many ways. Do some searching on the internet and locate a retreat that resonates with you. Spend a weekend cultivating romance and a deeper connection with each other.
If you’re not enjoying a deep connection with your partner, sit down and have a conversation. Let them know how you’re feeling. Do you feel disconnected? Not valued? Do you feel like they have pulled away?
Be honest. They may not have a clue how you’re feeling. By sharing how you feel and what you want and need emotion-wise, you give them the opportunity to show up for you in that way. You can have a discussion about the topic to see how you can both get on the same page.
Deepening your emotional connection with your partner is a wonderful endeavor. As both of you make a commitment to do so, your relationship will thrive. Many couples tend to drift apart the longer they are together, but you don’t have to. You can both make a commitment to do what it takes to keep your bond strong and cultivate a deep emotional connection.
If you need more help, choose several books on the topic to read and discuss them. If you’re really having trouble connecting, feel free to see a couple’s therapist, as they’ve helped many couples grow stronger in their relationship. It’s certainly possible to grow in many areas in your relationship when you’re willing to invest time and energy.
January 18, 2022
January 17, 2022