How to Speak Up & Say What You Want: You Don't Have to Be Silent!

By Dominica

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Last Updated: August 29, 2022

Throughout life, it’s likely we will face some difficult circumstances and people. 

Life will not always go as planned and people will not always act like we want them to. That’s just the way it goes. I think that as we grow personally, it is important to learn how to speak up for ourselves and hold our ground when boundaries are crossed, or we are facing fear.

I believe people ought to feel empowered and confident. There will most likely be someone in your life periodically telling you what you can and cannot do.

If this rubs you the wrong way, you ought to know how to stand up for yourself and say, “Whoa Nellie. Back the control truck up. This is not ok with me.”

 

 

How to Speak Up for Yourself: 3 Ways You Can Practice

1. Do Not Hide Your Feelings

Hiding your feelings may be tempting, but in the long run, it’s not the best way to handle your emotions. 

If you keep everything bottled up inside, eventually your feelings may explode and that’s not usually a pleasant experience for you or others. Trust me. I’ve stuffed my emotional balloon full, full, full before, and guess what….

It eventually popped - and there was my emotional goop splattered all over everything. 

It wasn’t pretty.

If you are feeling something or need something, I give you permission to speak it in a loving and honest way.

If you:

  • feel bad about what someone has said to you or done to you, tell them
  • are hurting inside, let someone know so they can help you
  • need some attention, speak it out

Why is that we think we have to keep things bottled up?

We have every right to share what we are thinking or feeling.

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2. Be Positive

Optimism is golden. The truth is that you’re likely to be miserable if you are constantly thinking negative thoughts.

In order to be happy, you must learn to have a positive perspective.

I know that you know this, but do you wonder how?

  • How can I be positive when my life stinks?
  • Or the job is not productive?
  • Or my partner just cheated on me?

It’s alright to have a few moments where you feel those emotions and get them out. It’s alright to cry. You have permission to punch the pillow. Rant and rave out in nature for a while. Scream into the wind.

Then, when you’ve released the emotions, take a deep breath and resolve to take a new perspective. A positive one. 

Say, “Yeah, this stinks, but I’m going to get through it. I’m going to come out a stronger person. I’m going to do something different and tell a new story.”

  • Make an intention.
  • Speak out what it is you want!
  • Declare it with authority!
  • Write down some positive statements and plaster them all over the place.
  • Tell yourself that you are beautiful, strong, inspiring, kind, caring, loving, and worthy to have what you want.

Do you want happiness and peace? Stand up, speak up, and go after what you want.

 

3. Speak Up and Stand Your Ground

You will face times in your life where you may be bullied, put down physically or emotionally, or made to feel that you are worthless.

People who are hut themselves will hurt others, much of the time without really trying to. Do not stand for emotional, verbal, or physical abuse. This happens all the time and what people are not realizing is that it’s unacceptable. It’s not ok.

I don’t care what you’ve done or haven’t done.

  • You have every right to stand up and speak up.
  • You are worthy of utmost respect.
  • Stand your ground.

You are fully allowed to speak your feelings to others and if you’ve been mistreated, call it for what it is in a mature way.

Everyone has a voice. Learn to use yours to let others know how you’re feeling and share your thoughts openly and honestly. If you want or need something, do not feel ashamed or fearful in asking for it. If someone is disrespectful to you, call them out on it in an honorable way.

Say, “Hey, I’m not sure why you’re talking to me like that. I find it disrespectful, and I don’t appreciate it and won’t tolerate it.” 

It really can be that simple. If you are confronted with someone who won’t listen to you or gets angry because you spoke up, it may be a great opportunity to cut ties. You can speak your mind lovingly and respectfully, without fear, and give others an opportunity to heal a wound or defect that they are obviously swimming in.

Know your value. Stand up, speak up, and watch how your life changes for the better.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

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4 comments on “How to Speak Up & Say What You Want: You Don't Have to Be Silent!”

  1. Thank you for adding the 3 steps to understanding why one needs to sand up for yourself. Boundaries are needed for everyone the 3 step list can help others understand clearly the reason for them. I will add them the care list for those who love & care for others.

    1. Great to hear Stevie! Sometimes it just helps to have a checklist to keep in mind. Hopefully these will help you and everyone you share them with! 🙂

  2. I have created a word document to remind me on a daily basis that I count and deserve to be spoken to properly. This may sound silly but that one line "You have every right to stand up and speak up" means so much to me. People have been walking over me my whole life and I am tired.
    thank you so much

    1. That doesn't sound silly at all Judy. If that helps remind yourself that you are worthy and you don't need to let people walk all over you. Stay strong, you are not alone!

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