6 Friendship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

Usually when we talk about red flags, it is in relation to intimate relationships.

But in reality, red flags can potentially exist in all the various relationships we have.

If you’re anything like me, friendships are a big part of who you are, and it is important that we surround ourselves with people who create a good environment that allows us to flourish. 

When friendships are not mutually rewarding, and your friend is causing you more harm than good, you might be in a toxic friendship.

Interacting with your friends should be effortless and fun.

If you need to recharge after meeting your friend or spend some time emotionally preparing yourself for a coffee date with your friend, there might be something worth looking into. 

Recognizing red flags in friendships is crucial for maintaining healthy, rewarding and positive relationships. Here are some common friendship red flags you should never ignore.

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6 Friendship Red Flags to Watch Out For

1. Lack of reciprocity.

If you consistently put more effort, time, or emotional support into the friendship without receiving similar efforts back, it might be a sign of an imbalance.

As we get older, we get busy, and our calendars become packed.

Most of us can barely even find time for ourselves, so creating time to spend with our friends requires planning and at times, sacrificing time we would ideally take for ourselves.

When you find yourself being the only one who has to make plans and suggestions regarding when to meet or you’re the one who has to constantly move things around in order to spend time with your friend, that friendship might be worth re-evaluating.

We all have important things going on and should be equally able to make sacrifices for the friendships we value. 

2. Constant negativity.

When we are going through a tough time, friends usually are our safe heaven. And when we need help making decisions, they are ideally the voice of logic and practicality.

Friends should support each other through ups and downs, but if a friend is constantly negative, complaining, or bringing you down without showing any effort to improve their situation, it can be emotionally draining and exhausting.

No matter how positive you are, negativity can and will affect you. Always remember, the attitude of the people you surround yourself with greatly influences how you feel and how you perceive the world in general. 

3. Betrayal of trust.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship.

Most of us share personal and intimate details of our lives with our friends. And when we do so, we expect our friends to keep these confidential things to themselves.

Unfortunately, if a friend consistently breaks promises, gossips behind your back, or shares your personal information without consent, it's a significant red flag.

Moreover, be mindful of how your friends talk to you about other people; that is likely the same way they talk about you to other people. 

4. Jealousy or competition.

Healthy friendships are built on mutual support and encouragement.

If a friend constantly competes with you, belittles your accomplishments, or becomes jealous of your success, it is a sign of toxicity in the relationship. 

Their behavior can make you undermine your achievements and lower your self-esteem in the long run. We don’t need that. We need friends who root for us and support us in becoming the best versions of ourselves. 

5. Manipulative behavior and lack of respect.

Manipulative friends may try to control you, guilt-trip you into doing things you're not comfortable with, or use emotional blackmail to get their way. Recognizing and setting boundaries with such behavior is essential. 

We are individual beings with different priorities and preferences that our friends should respect.

If a friend consistently disregards your boundaries, interrupts you, or dismisses your feelings, it's a sign of disrespect that should not be ignored. 

6. One-sided conversations.

Conversations in a healthy friendship should be balanced, with both parties taking turns to listen and speak.

If a friend dominates conversations, only talks about themselves, and shows little interest in your life, it can indicate a lack of genuine interest in your well-being.

Imagine how exhausting it can be to have to listen to someone talk about themselves for hours. Friends ought to be interested in your life just as you are in theirs. 

Friendship Red Flags: Friendships Don’t Have to Be Toxic!

Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and occasional disagreements are normal in friendships.

They should not mark the end of a friendship. However, if you notice a pattern of concerning behavior, and consistently feel unhappy in a friendship, it may be time to reevaluate its significance in your life. 

Moreover, if you have to voice your concerns to a friend more than once and they ignore your feelings and do not work towards changing their behavior, that friendship might not be worth salvaging. 

Friendships don’t have to be toxic, rather, they should be fulfilling and rewarding. Don’t be scared to set firm boundaries or walk away when you have to. 

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Photo by: Noelle Design