Give yourself credit for not acting on your suicidal thoughts. It takes a lot of courage to survive the urge. You have made it this far. Please keep fighting. You know you are strong enough to deal with whatever life throws your way.
Remember that you matter, you are loved, even if your thoughts tell you otherwise. There's always hope. There's always a way of making things better. Deep down, you know it too.
So don't let those negative thoughts get the best of you. When those thoughts start to overwhelm you, distract yourself by doing something helpful like listening to music, talking to someone you trust, or even sleeping and allow the thoughts to pass.
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