7 Things That Can Help You Heal After a Divorce

The emotional roller coaster ride after a divorce can feel tough to endure at times.

Chances are, if you’re going through or you’ve been through a divorce, you understand. Whether you’re the one who initiated the divorce, or you’re going through it reluctantly, you’re doing your best. However, there are days when you struggle to make it through and wonder how long this emotional strain will last.

As you navigate life after divorce, you may wonder where to go for help when it comes to things like support groups, lawyers, activities, and so on. It’s not easy going through this feeling alone.

If you’re not sure where to go for help, here are some tips to consider:

7 Things That Can Help You After a Divorce

1. Find a Support Network That Can Help.

Empathy is an important quality in people. By empathy, I mean the ability to hear someone in their struggle and meet them there. It means to empathize or be that shoulder to lean on or sounding board to hear “venting sessions”. 

Who are the people in your life who you feel you can depend on? Reach out to them and ask for support or help, even if it's just for an empathetic phone call here and there, or to go out for a coffee when you need to leave the house. 

It can be really hard to ask for help, but here are a few tips for you to get started. 

2. Get a Good Lawyer.

Thinking of getting a lawyer may feel stressful.

However, you may need help from a lawyer if you and your ex are having trouble with things like splitting assets. Lawyers can be very helpful in acting as a mediator between you and your spouse, especially if you’re not sure what your rights are.

While some divorce lawyers can be quite expensive, some will offer a free consult, so it won’t hurt to have a discussion.

To find a reputable lawyer in your area, you can ask your closest friends and family for a referral or do some research online. You can also locate one through the American Bar Association’s directory.

3. Look Into a Child Support Agency.

If you and your spouse have children, you may need help from a child support agency to get child support payments set up.

If you’re the custodial parent, you should receive the child support payments. Not every divorced couple goes through a child support agency. Some agree on a certain monthly child support payments and leave the courts out of it.

This will depend on various circumstances and preferences. However, if you’re a custodial parent and you’re not receiving any child support, it’s wise to reach out to your local child support agency for help.

4. Support groups

Some communities hold support groups for divorcees.

You can ask around and make some calls to social service agencies, churches, or counselors to see if there are any in your area. Try Meetup or Facebook Groups as well, as there may be a local meetup designed for divorcees.

Meeting regularly with other men and women who are in similar shoes can be of great support during the transition from married to single life.

5. Get a Counselor.

You may benefit from seeing a professional counselor during this transition time.

Even if you only go for a couple of months, it can give you a venue to share openly and honestly about how you’re feeling. You can receive solid support and receive helpful tools that can help you deal with things like depression, anxiety, fear, and so on.

If you’re pressed for time or don’t have a means to see a counselor in the community, there are counselors who will meet with you online via Skype. Simply do some research online.

6. Find a Forum.

Visiting a forum geared toward support for divorcees can prove to be a valuable resource.

There are various online forums you can peruse to ask questions, read what others suggest, and feel part of a larger community. Daily Strength is one well-known online forum where you can connect with others who may have the answers you’re looking for.

7. Journal Your Emotions.

It can be quite an emotional time going through a divorce. 

Some people say that journaling their thoughts and feelings gives them a way to vent feelings. Whether you have a blank journal and simply write whatever comes to mind or you use a guided journal, putting your thoughts on paper can help you feel less stress and organize your thoughts or emotions.

Divorce as a New Beginning

Life after divorce may feel challenging for a while. 

While some may solely look at it as a devastating experience, it can be looked at from the perspective of a new beginning. This doesn’t minimize the pain you may be feeling as you go through it. The pain or grief is real and it’s important that you take time to process and integrate it. 

At the same time, as you begin to heal, try to remain hopeful that life after divorce can be good again. 

You can indeed move on past the grief, frustration, fear, and so on. Keep in mind that it can be easier when you know where to turn for help and surround yourself with a caring community of people.

Photo by M Venter