Are You Accepting Your Partner for Who They Truly Are?

It’s no secret that we all want to be accepted for who we are.

It doesn’t feel good when others judge us, especially when we’re just being ourselves. Sometimes the pressure to measure up causes us to wear masks and be someone we’re not. This can eventually lead to negative emotions or a breakdown. At the very least, it can make us feel sad and undervalued.

Take a few minutes and think about whether or not you accept your partner for who they are. 

• Do you make them feel bad when they don’t meet your expectations?
• Do you wish they were different?
• Do you complain to others about them often?

It’s common for partners to put demands on each other and expect certain things. But when this gets out of balance, your relationship can suffer.

Today, let’s take a look at how you can come to accept your partner for who they truly are, despite quirks, opposing views, annoying habits, and so on.  

Express Your Wants and Needs

Take some time to sit and write down what you want and need in a relationship.

What do you want and need from your partner?

This is particularly important because if you don’t know, your partner won’t know either.

Have your partner do the same, as you should know what your partner expects of you in this relationship.

• Once you’re both done with the list, have a conversation together.
• Let each other know what you want and what is important to you.
• Compromise if you’re both on the fence about something.

As you communicate your wants and needs, you’re putting it all out there on the table. And, you’re both choosing to accept each other for who you truly are and what you truly desire.  

Want Greater Intimacy? Resist The Urge To Go Into “Fix It” Mode→

What Don’t You Like About Your Partner?

Are there things you don’t like about your partner?

• Do they leave the bathroom a mess when they’re done getting ready for work?
• Do they ignore you when you’re talking? 
• Watch too much television?
• Gossip a lot?
• Complain a lot?
• Are always working?

Yes, it is important to accept your partner for who they are, but it’s also wise to have an honest discussion about the things that tend to bother you concerning attitude or behavior. By letting them know if you’re bothered by something, they have the choice to either change their behavior or not.

If you’re accepting your partner for who they truly are, then you have the opportunity to accept their decision to change or not. There are bound to be things partners don’t like about each other. I’m not talking about abuse in any form or fashion here. I mean the common traits, attitudes, etc. that tend to bug partners.

• Are you able to accept your partner even if they’re not as tidy (focused, motivated, talkative, etc.)? 
• Are you able to extend unconditional love?
• Focus on the things you love about them?

Keep Nagging at a Minimum

Complaining and nagging doesn’t usually change anyone’s behavior.

In fact, it usually just drives a wedge into the relationship. If there is something you don’t like about your partner, it’s better to have a heart-to-heart conversation about the issue rather than constantly nag.

Maybe they don’t want to change their behavior. Maybe they like chewing with their mouth open or wear those shoes that you hate. Perhaps they don’t want to put their makeup away after applying it. 

Can you both accept each other for who you are and what you desire?

Are Your Expectations Realistic?

If your partner has been a slob from day one and a year later you are still upset about this, hoping they will change, your expectations may be unrealistic. Sometimes the things we want in our partner just aren’t going to happen. 

If you expect a romantic ninja and your partner barely remembers Valentine’s Day each year, your expectations are probably too high. Keep it real. 

If you come to find out that there really is a compatibility issue, have an honest discussion about this. Not everyone is really compatible and sometimes this doesn’t dawn on them until they get down the road a little.

Being Authentic - The End of the Month Message for October→

Relationships are an Opportunity to Learn and Grow

Compromise and acceptance are important in a relationship.

If you want your relationship to thrive, learning how to accept your partner for who they are will serve you well. Yes, sometimes change can occur and if both of you are willing to give when it comes to meeting each other halfway, then you’re more apt to experience bliss in your relationship. 

There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, so learning how to navigate yours through unexpected twists and turns is advisable. When you can view your relationship as an opportunity to learn and grow, you’re more apt to sit down and discuss the various obstacles that pop up.

Keeping an optimistic attitude is recommended. Don’t take things so seriously (Unless it's an actually serious issue.). You’ll certainly have many opportunities to show each other unconditional love as you accept each other for who you really are.

Here’s to a long-lasting, enjoyable relationship!

Photo by Quintin Gellar