Do you struggle with meeting new people, attending events and talking on the phone?
While most of us may have a hard time in these situations here and there, if they're disrupting your life, or you find yourself finding any way to avoid them, you may be dealing with social anxiety on some level.
We’re going to dive into what it is, the types, the causes, and how you can manage it in your life.
Social anxiety refers to how everyday interactions can lead to fear, anxiety, embarrassment, and even avoidance (such as avoiding social situations due to fear and anxiety). Inevitably, not everyone has a social anxiety disorder.
In fact, social discomfort or anxiety in certain situations is completely normal.
Below, we take a look at a few of the symptoms, helping you determine if it is what you’re feeling.
Related Article: If You Struggle With Social Anxiety, This Is For You
Some common symptoms include:
Interestingly, individuals with social anxiety also tend to have other mental health disorders, such as depression, panic disorders, or a generalized anxiety disorder.
Experts tend to agree that there are two main distinctions between types of social anxiety disorders.
In generalized anxiety disorders, individuals tend to fear the majority of social situations.
In non-generalized anxiety disorders, individuals often only fear specific social situations, such as public speaking or talking on the phone.
Generalized anxiety more frequently leads to disruption in a person’s life, since they may avoid any social gathering or any situation outside their comfort zone (such as their home). Yet, there are all types of social anxieties.
Some common examples of social anxiety include:
If any of the above or similar situations lead to anxious feelings, you might be experiencing social anxiety.
So, why does this happen in the first place?
You might be more prone if:
Additionally, it’s thought that individuals with social anxiety may have an overactive amygdala, the part of the brain that is responsible for the fear response, which can cause increased anxiety in social situations.
Related Article: 7 Easy Ways to Stop Anxiety & Chronic Stress From Ruining Your Life
Treatment can involve an array of approaches.
In fact, it’s usually about finding a good balance that works for you and can help you overcome those anxious thoughts and feelings. These treatments or methods may include:
You by no means need to go all out and attend that house party right off the bat. If you’re feeling anxious, give yourself time and space. Try hanging out with a friend or two, and gradually build up that social tolerance.
It can also help to gradually expose yourself to situations that make you feel uncomfortable (but not too uncomfortable) to help push your comfort zone.
For example, before attending that big wedding with hundreds of people, try hanging out with a couple of friends, then a bigger group, then maybe try going to a restaurant and so on. This can really help!
Some of the best therapy involves working with a professional, someone who can offer you tips and tricks that you can use during those anxious moments.
For instance, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help change the way you think about a situation, which, in turn, can change how you feel about it. This can turn socially anxious situations into fun and happy events, where you aren’t fearful of what could or couldn’t happen.
Practicing positive self-talk and showing yourself a little compassion can go a long way.
Give yourself some time to ease back into a “normal” social life. Take the pressure off. If you’re really not feeling it, give yourself a self-care night full of your favorite shows, a warm bath, and more.
Use your support system if you need it, especially if you’re feeling anxious and they are there with you.
Talk to them before the social event and let them know what’s going on. True friends will be there for you and help you through it.
There’s no rush to jump into every Friday night happy hour or every Sunday brunch.
Take your time.
As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are.”
In other words, take it one day and one stride at a time. You’ve got this.
Read Next: Do the 333 Rule and the 54321 Method Help People Struggling With Anxiety?
Editor's note: This article was originally published Mar 2, 2022 and has been updated to improve reader experience.
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Overcoming Social Anxiety: What Can You Do?
Well, instead of fighting and struggling to overcome social anxiety and be accepted, accept reality. Or rather just f*** society.
My father who was "sociable" person with many friends said that you have to learn to get along with others. In my experience, it's more like you've got to escape from a social "hell" or "prison" and seek refuge in a community or society where you fit in.
Let's face it. If I were born in "Redneck" town, but I'm a "normal" person, no matter what I do, I'll never fit in with Rednecks. And I DON'T want to fit and BE a Redneck. It's just not who I am.
So what do I do? Move to California or New York. But there, the most important thing in the universe is to be "COOL": talk cool, tell cool jokes and stories, act cool, dress cool, drive a cool car, have a cool job, have cool friends, cool money, a cool girlfriend/boyfriend.
If you're just nice and friendly, they'll look down on you as childish, immature, naive, a nerd. At worse, you'll be bullied, gossiped about, walked over. At best, you be ignored, shunned, ostracized.
Again, that's not who I am, nor should I try or want to be "cool".
In these circumstances, it's best to just be a remote freelancer and work from home, like a (Japanese) hikkikomori. No need for incessant grooming. No commute, no boss, no office politics, favoritism, backstabbing, gossiping.
But I will still take walks in nature, ride my bike and befriend dogs and cats, and connect with like minded people on the other side of the world, online.
Now this is true FREEDOM!
I must admit. I used to have this dilemma. I worked on it. I read books, lots of them. Talking to people - strangers, standing my feet to ask questions, contribute something of value in corporate meeting.
I have read something that the greatest fear in life are: The fear of death, and the other one is the fear of public speaking. I read books authored by writers like... Brian Tracy. Am now a people magnet!
That's great to hear that you have worked so hard on yourself Moses! Thanks you for sharing with us.
I don't understand always I read articles and I mange my mind but uncontrollably.
Wow all very interesting