Arguing With Your Partner About Money? Top 6 Practical Tips to Start Working Together

By Dominica


Last Updated: October 14, 2021

Relationship experts say that financial problems in relationships or marriages can stress a relationship so much that it may eventually crumble the foundation.

With the divorce rate hovering around 50%, it will serve you well to do some digging as to how your finances play a role in the happiness level of your current relationship or marriage.

Do you and your partner/spouse argue about money?

Are one or both of you stressed out and carrying the weight of the finances?

If so, there are some things you can do to learn more about finances, as well as communicate in an open, calm way with your partner about the topic.  No matter what you’re arguing about money-wise, the following are some tips that can help you and your partner out!


1. Talk About The Root Causes Of Money Issues 

You don’t just wake up one day with a ton of financial problems. Most financial distress happens incrementally, as people tend to spend more than they actually make.  The credit card debt grows over time and before you know it, you can be so much in debt, you feel trapped with no escape. 

Sit down and have an open, honest, and compassionate discussion with your partner.

A great place to do this is at the kitchen table. Sit across from each other and talk it out. You may even want to grab a notebook and take some notes.

Discuss why you’re in the spot you’re in.

  • Do you spend money carelessly?
  • Do you make impulse purchases?
  • Do you need to increase your earnings?
  • Are you living with a poverty mentality?
  • Is one or both of you greedy?
  • Too giving? 

If you purchase things to try to feel happy inside, find other ways to get happy that don’t involve spending money. Buying things only gives you a temporary feeling of satisfaction. It won’t cause you to feel authentically happy.

If you are trying hard to keep up with the Joneses, buying all the latest and greatest things to make a good impression on others, make a decision to stop. Stay within your budget no matter what. Go on a “no shopping” spree. Take a few months and only buy absolute necessities.

Talk about and write down all the ways you can think of to save money and get out of your money problems.


2. Create A Budget And Follow It

Create a workable budget that both of you will adhere to.

You can do this with some online budgeting software, or write it down on a piece of paper. List all of your income and expenses. See if you make enough to cover all the expenses. Be honest and create a budget that works for you and your family.

Cut out all unnecessary spending, take on more work if possible, and get that debt paid down. 

As you both do your part and work side by side in tackling your money issues, you’re more likely to experience financial success.


3. Create A Financial Plan

Experts state that only 23% of married couples have a financial plan.

Essentially, that leaves a good percentage with no plan, which can lead to financial stress and problems. 

Budgeting is great, but don’t avoid making a financial plan too. You can create a short and long-term plan for your finances. You may even want to think ahead for retirement.


4. Educate Yourself

There are so many helpful financial advice websites, podcasts, and videos that are free.

Take time regularly to read, listen, and watch videos on various personal finance topics. Listen alone or with your partner and put the principles you learn into practice. 

Not sure where to start? Do a Google search on personal finance help and sift through the list to see what resonates with you. 

A few starters are:

You can also check out:

5 Online Personal Finance Communities Dedicated To Helping You With Money Issues

If you keep financial advice before your eyes and ears, you’re much more apt to follow through with your budget and financial plan!


5. Reach Out For Financial Help

Maybe you’ve tried just about everything yourself and still experience financial problems.

If you’re continuing to struggle, seek out a financial counselor who can help you create a financial relief plan.  They’ll also be able to help you with budgeting and goals.

Financial coaches can help you get your financial picture under control.  They are also someone to be accountable to, which helps some people to change their spending habits.

Dave Ramsey is a well-known financial educator/coach who has a lot of valuable information on his website and videos on YouTube.


6. Say No To Materialism

There’s nothing wrong with buying things for yourself, your family, or your home.

However, if you’re buying things you can’t really afford just for the sake of having them, you’re bound to struggle financially.

Don’t spend more than you earn. That’s advice that you should repeat over and over until it’s hard-wired into your brain. At the same time, think twice about buying things you don’t need. Rather, sock that money away for your future. 

Materialism will try to suck you in. Resist it and you’ll likely be much more apt to experience financial success.

Want to learn more about living simple, minimalistic ways that empower you and the planet?

Check out New Dream: More of What Matters.

Want to know more about minimalism? Read this next: How Minimalism Can Help Your Relationships


Take Your Financial Power Back

Relationships can be tough enough at times without throwing money problems into the mix!

If you and your partner have been struggling, and tend to argue about money issues, it’s time to take your financial power back.

No matter what financial problems you’re having in your relationship, you can begin to take steps to resolve them and get financially fit. It may not happen overnight, and that’s all right. Little by little, you can get out of debt and begin building your savings.

Two important ingredients are self-control and discipline. Make a commitment to do things differently from here on out. Create better money habits, rewire any negative thoughts or beliefs that you have about money, and learn how to communicate in healthy ways with your partner about the topic.

You can reclaim your financial power. Begin today. 

Photo by Gary Barnes from Pexels


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