Emotional Infidelity: What it is & 10 Signs You Should Look Out For

You started off as friends, then became good friends and became extremely close friends. 

Then it went from occasionally texting and checking in on each other to constantly texting and having long calls almost every day. You try to spend as much time as possible together and confide in each other with regard to issues you might be dealing with in your relationships or marriages. 

Eventually, the lines start to feel a bit blurry. 

It starts feeling sort of like a relationship. But you never officially talked about it being a relationship, so could it be a relationship?

Your partner starts expressing discomfort pertaining to your interactions with this ‘close friend’. But again, you never expressed any feelings or love toward your friend so why is it such a big deal? 

Well, it is a big deal, because emotional infidelity is a thing and it should be acknowledged and addressed. 

What is Emotional Infidelity?

Emotional infidelity occurs when one partner in a committed relationship develops a close emotional bond with someone outside of the relationship.

It can occur without any physical intimacy or sexual contact between the two individuals involved. But it can still be damaging to the relationship as it can create feelings of betrayal, jealousy, and mistrust. 

Some people may argue that emotional infidelity is just as harmful as physical infidelity. It can lead to the erosion of trust and emotional intimacy between partners, and can ultimately lead to the breakdown of the relationship.

10 Signs of Emotional Infidelity

Here are some of the common signs of emotional infidelity: 

• Sharing intimate thoughts, feelings, and experiences with someone who is not your partner. 
• Confiding, seeking emotional support and validation from other people. 
• Being detached from your partner.
• A decline in the need for intimacy and sexual engagement.
• Not putting effort into resolving issues with your partner.
• Addressing the other person with affectionate names like baby, honey, sweetheart, etc. 
• Telling the other partner that they are overreacting when they express discomfort regarding the relationship with the other person. 
• Spending more time on devices talking to the other person. 
• Being more critical of your relationship. 
• Sudden changes in appearance and grooming habits.

What to do About Emotional Infidelity

Usually, the person who is doing this form of ‘cheating’ does not realize that it is wrong unless someone points it out to them. Often the first person to point it out will be their partner, but in some cases, they will likely ignore their partner or ignore the partner’s feelings. 

If you are one of those people, I hope this blog helps you do some introspection and see where you stand.

Here are some things you can do about emotional infidelity.

Be honest with yourself.

In an attempt to validate your actions and make yourself feel better, you might ignore the truth and create a certain version of events that paints you in a better light in your head.

You can come up with a long list of excuses to justify your emotional closeness with the other person. That is not okay.

You need to acknowledge that what you are doing is wrong and in some cases, you can even notice that your feelings towards this said friend are becoming more than just those of friendship.

Listen to your partner.

If you want to keep your relationship/marriage, one of the main things you need to do is to listen to and acknowledge your partner.

If they communicate that they aren’t happy with how close you are with someone, it might be wise to reevaluate that friendship and move on in a way that makes your partner happy. In some cases, you might have to make the tough decision of entirely ending that ‘friendship’. 

Talk about what is missing in your relationship.

The reason why people seek for emotional connections outside their relationships is usually because they are not getting that connection from their partner.

Occasionally sit and talk to your partner about the things you’re missing in your relationship. Both of you should then actively work towards ensuring that you both get the things that are important to you from each other and not from other people outside your relationship. 

The existence of emotional infidelity does not mean that a relationship is doomed.

As long as both people are still willing to make the relationship work, it is never too late to fix the mistakes from the past and move on in a much happier and healthier relationship.

Photo by cottonbro studio