Why Fit in When You Were Born to Stand Out?

By Reniel


Last Updated: June 17, 2021


When most people hear the phrase, “stand out” the first thing that comes to their minds is, “why would I want to stand out?”, “why be an oddball?”, or “why try to get notice?”. It’s a reasonable response, and also has a simple answer: “you were born to stand out”.

“Really? I was born to stand out?!”

Yes. The truth is that we were never born to be steamrolled by culture and society – to be any other thing except who we are. Albeit, society has forces – trends, and traditions – that drive everything within it. These are the societal status quo, and they are the forces that mount invisible, yet palpable, pressure on every individual, forcing them to act and look the way it dictates.           

And, sadly, it succeeds at doing this most of the time: it succeeds because a lot of people are afraid of being different, being criticized, or being singled out. In fact, a lot of people don’t even know what to be other than what society dictates. And whilst this can keep them out of trouble throughout life, it inevitably leads to a stifled one – a life with lots of wishes, and hopes, but nothing more.      

Only those who stand out can escape this kind of life. But standing out poses a serious question and challenge: who are we? If we are going to stand out, what are we going to stand by? And why should we even bother to stand out if every other person is simply flowing with it? Why risk it?         

The answer is simple: we are all unique, and we need to take up the challenge of being our authentic selves because all the best things in life are on the other side of fear, and it is only by being our authentic selves that we can truly be happy.    

It might be scary, but it is truly worth it. It is the only way you can live the full expression of your life.     


How to stand out?

When it comes to standing out and differentiating yourself from others, the aim isn’t to be the cynosure or center of attention or admiration, but to rather be your true self – your best self.

And as simple as that sounds, it can be a daunting task.      

For a start, you’d have to discover your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, what makes you happy, and what steals your joy. And you’d have to do this without fear of what people would say or think.    

It means forgetting about the trends and norms and going ahead to listen to the kind of music you like, visiting places that interest you and doing the things that you enjoy. It means choosing what to believe in and how to think. It means picking your ideals and values – and then standing by them.    

It is essentially not caring about what other people think. But that is only half the task.   

Once this part has been taken care of, the remaining half of the task becomes pretty straightforward – though, still not easy.

For a start, you’d have to

  • Put in extra effort: To stand out, you’d have to do more than the average person. Most people live their lives just doing the bare minimum – they do just enough not to get in trouble, but not enough to reach their limits. You have to do better than that since this is the life you’ve chosen, and you’re doing it for yourself. Having said that, don’t be afraid to put in the extra work. Dare to go the extra mile and stick it out!     
  • Become an authority: One of the benefits of choosing your path and sticking to it is that you would have the rare privilege of doing the kind of work you enjoy. Hence, you can pour in your heart to becoming competent in your work, and once you’ve gathered a good reputation – by solving people’s problems – you will naturally be seen as the go-to person, and this would ultimately bring you wealth, respect, satisfaction, and fulfillment in life.   
  • Pay attention to details: Paying attention to details involves being scrupulous in all you do. It involves going over things the second, and even third time to make sure no errors were left uncorrected, and that nothing was left out. It gives you the badge of excellence, and excellence is hard to ignore.  
  • Take calculated risks: Whilst most people are afraid to air their opinions and only follow the safest routes, people who stand out think for themselves and then make decisions based on their well-thought-out plans. It might be risky, but remember that life itself is a risk.
  • Be pleasant: This doesn’t mean you’d be a people pleaser, but that you’d have a nice attitude, are nice to talk to, dress well, smell nice, are humorous, and polite, just to mention a few. In essence, you do not discriminate and hate people for being different from you, but rather appreciate their difference – or lack thereof.    
  • Be authentic and creative: Whilst most people would rather fit into frameworks and embrace monotony, you have to be comfortable with your original ideas and concepts – you have to think outside the box and try out new approaches.    
  • Embrace constant improvement: And above all, you must learn to constantly develop yourself.  

Long story short, you were born with a unique fingerprint, DNA sequence, and virtually everything about you is unique in a sense, so why fit in when you were born to stand out? Why not discover who you are? Why not embrace who you are?

If you can embrace this lifestyle – of standing out – then you would have a life that is on your terms and would be fulfilling.

So, dare to be different and don’t be afraid to stand out.


Photo by Kindel Media from Pexels


9 comments on “Why Fit in When You Were Born to Stand Out?”

  1. Thank you.
    I have a sign that says this very thing in my farmhouse (originally in a yurt no longer here) and I love it! Many people notice it and comment on it. Now I am in a better position to say what it means!
    With my love and gratitude,

  2. A really wonderful and helpful article, thank you so much. Unfortunately, it is truly valid about our society and its constant efforts to make us 'fit in'. There is a very characteristic example that describes this tendency. It talks about a poppy that as soon as it has gotten taller than the other poppies, her head is being cut off. It has become a constant war for most of the creators to defend the profession that we love and to be our true selves. There are times when we are being threatened, for the only reason that we are different from the crowd. Many people do not want to do the work that is required to transform themselves, as it is much easier for them to criticize and blame others. And it is unfortunate for them that they are not consciously aware that the only thing they achieve this way, is self-sabotaging their own lives.

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