Working on Your Self-Esteem Issues? Don't Let Others Bring You Down

By Dominica


Last Updated: September 9, 2022

Have you ever noticed how newborn babies have no self-esteem issues?

They are born with a sense of self-acceptance and self-love. But as they grow older, they begin interacting with others and sometimes those interactions may leave them feeling badly about themselves. 

In essence, it very well could be that our interactions with other people are the root causes of low self-esteem. That being said, it is important to learn how to not allow such interactions to bring you down.



How Parents May Impact Your Self-Esteem

Your parents are the first people who influence your self-esteem.

They actually lay the foundation for positive or negative self-esteem. Children learn quite early that failing to meet their parents’ expectations makes them feel low. They don’t feel like they will receive love and approval if they let their parents’ down.

Parents need to understand this and offer unconditional love.

Children who grow up with poor self-esteem based on parents’ actions or words need to realize that the past is over and though it was unfortunate their childhood involved such, they must change their perspective. They can remember the good and let go of the not-so-good. This makes for a happier life.

So, if you’re struggling with self-esteem issues based on what happened in childhood, do your best to heal those root issues.

You can do this via a self-directed inner healing journey, or you can see a professional counselor for support. The bottom line is that you can learn to change your view of yourself now that you’re an adult with some keen insights on where you picked up that low self-esteem.



How a Partner May Impact Your Self-Esteem

  • Have you ever let your partner down? 
  • Did they get angry with you?
  • Did you let that affect your self-esteem?

There are expectations in relationships and oftentimes unmet expectations cause negativity and a blow to the self-image.

Be sure that you have regular discussions about your needs and expectations. This goes for friendships and family as well. Clarify your roles and come to terms. 

Also, commit to unconditional love, because chances are that your partner WILL let you down on occasion. So, it is a choice to condemn or show unconditional love.



How Your Job May Impact Your Self-Esteem

Your expectations at work are probably set in stone, but you can still encounter opportunities for self-esteem issues. 

You might not be as skilled as you thought. Coworkers or your manager may make a negative remark. This can lower your self-esteem if you allow it. Realize that work is always an opportunity for growth.

If your job is impacting your self-esteem, try to get to the root of the issue.

Who or what do you feel is bringing you down?

Perhaps you can do some journaling to gain some insight. If you’re able to discern where the negative feelings are coming from, address it in a kind, mature manner.

If your boss is being disrespectful to you, sit down and have a conversation about it. It might feel scary, but it’s necessary to call these things out so YOU can begin the inner change necessary to boost self-esteem.



How Strangers Can Jab At Your Self-Esteem

Sometimes a negative remark by a stranger can hurt more than if it were to come from a loved one. 

You might feel like you are being unfairly judged because that person doesn’t even know you. You think “How dare they!”  If you’re not careful, you could take such comments to heart and your self-esteem could be affected.

Try to realize that the stranger has their own issues.

If they are making rude comments to people, chances are they are miserable inside and projecting that onto others. This doesn’t excuse their behavior at all, but it might help you not take their comments personal.

Sometimes you just have to let things roll off your back, so-to-speak, rather than take them on and let them affect you negatively.




Whether it’s a parent, partner, coworker, or stranger, self-esteem blows do not have to wreak havoc on your self-esteem level.

There are plenty of things you can do to increase your self-esteem and protect it from harsh judgments or accusations. Understand that sometimes people say hurtful things and you will not meet everyone’s expectations all the time. If you do not guard against such, you will not walk around feeling very happy.

Learn to love yourself first and your self-esteem will soar each day.

Photo by Samson Katt


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