Do you ever feel like your partner isn’t giving you enough attention or affection?
Are they too busy with other things? Would you enjoy more quality time and attention?
Relationships can certainly go through their ups and downs. Sometimes there’s plenty of affection and attention happening, while other times there seems to be a lull. In the past, women tended to be the ones complaining about lack of attention, but plenty of men feel left out at times too.
It’s not always easy to speak these types of needs in a relationship. Some people feel like if they ask for more attention or quality time, their partner may get upset or defensive. They don’t want to come across as needy and clingy.
But spending quality time together is a genuine need in a relationship, so it’s alright to recognize when you’re not experiencing it and ask for more.
The following are 7 ways you can get more attention or affection from your partner so that you feel more connected at the heart level.
The first thing you can do is have a genuine conversation about the topic.
Your partner may not have any idea that you're feeling the way you are. They may think that you're getting plenty of quality attention. Just sit down with them and let them know how you're feeling and also let them know how they can show up for you in a way that helps you feel like you're getting quality time together.
They may think that sitting down and watching TV together is enough attention for you, but if that's not the case, then you need to make this known.
Do you know how you enjoy getting attention?
Determine what helps you feel like you're getting this need met and then as mentioned before, let your partner know. You may also want to ask them what helps them feel like they're being tended to or that quality time is being spent together. Open and honest communication goes a long way in a relationship.
If you get things cooking in the bedroom, it’s a pretty safe assumption you’ll get more attention.
Plenty of people like it when their partner plans a romantic evening that will involve intimacy. Maybe one or both of you have been busy lately and you haven’t made time to connect in the bedroom. Go ahead and go all out!
After we've been in a relationship for a while, it's easy to just start dressing in sweatpants and T-shirts.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but sometimes sprucing things up will cause your partner to pay some more attention to you. I'm not saying that you have to dress sexy or skimpy, but spruce it up some and dressed to impress once in a while.
You can even just accessorize a bit more often with scarves or jewelry. Or put on some good smelling perfume or cologne.
Are you always sitting around waiting for your partner to show you some attention?
Maybe you can try not being so available. Be sure that you’ve got a life independent from your partner and practice self-care. You certainly don’t have to sit around and wait on your partner.
When you’re not as available, they’re more likely to miss you and show you some attention.
Life can get busy for couples, especially when work and raising children are involved.
You might feel like you're not getting attention because you're both very busy with life. When you're feeling this way, this is a perfect opportunity to ask your partner out on a date. Even taking an hour or two just to be alone out and about can be so helpful when it comes to reconnecting.
There are activities and events going on all the time. It may help to commit to this once a week or at least a couple times a month, just so you're both getting some valuable one-on-one time.
Sometimes all it takes is for you to start showing them attention and then they will in turn show you affection.
Make them coffee in the morning or leave a little love note in their lunch box. Give them random hugs. As you give, they’re more apt to give in return.
Again, wanting and needing attention from your partner is normal.
I'm not saying that you want to take almost all of their time and attention, but spending quality time together and feeling like you're connecting at the heart level is important. When couples can feel seen and heard, the relationship is much more likely to flourish.
If you're feeling like you're not getting enough quality attention, try these tips out. If you've already tried them and you're still feeling this way, you may want to reach out for some extra support from a therapist.
They'll be able to help you determine your best course of action for contending with these feelings. Honesty is truly the best policy, so be honest with yourself and to be honest with your partner.
Here's hoping that your relationship may flourish abundantly!
Photo by SHVETS production
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July 6, 2025
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