Shy & Introverted? Try These 4 Things to Find Friends & Build New Connections

If you're an introvert or a shy person, do not think that you are alone.

The world is full of shy and awkward people!

Some stay that way through life, some build a different persona for others while intrinsically remaining the same, and others break the shackles of shyness. 

It is important to note that shyness is the result of both nature and nurture. People who are genetically inclined to be shy and introverted may find it more difficult to overcome it when socializing.

However, people who have grown up isolated, in a cyber-world, or away from contact with real people may still be able to overcome shyness after changing their surroundings and environment. 

Whatever the cause - genetics or upbringing, anything is possible if you want to make it possible.

The same is the case with appearing more confident, conquering shyness, finding new friends, and building new connections, in the online world as well as in the physical world. 

Here are some of the thoughts and processes that can assist you if you want to overcome the odds imposed by your shyness and introverted personality.

4 Things to Consider if You Are Shy & Introverted and Want to Make Friends 

1. Why do you want to make friends and build new connections? 

This is one of the most important questions that you have to understand, reflect on, and answer honestly.

Do you want to make friends...

• because you are lonely?
• to surround yourself with people?
• to fill some gap that is missing in your life?
• for some other reason?
• do you want to build connections to get to know the world better?
• to meet new people and cultures and ideas?
• to move on to a better future? 

It is vital to remember that choosing to become more expressive in social gatherings and online communication should not be born out of self-pity and negativity.

Thus, trying to make new friends just to get rid of your loneliness may not work out in the end.

You may end up imposing yourself on others who may not be interested in who you are and what you have to offer. So, if you find people with viewpoints that are poles apart from you and do not align with your general ideology of life, then it is best to move on. 

Choose wisely and don’t try to force yourself to become part of a group or befriend people who do not resonate with you. The best option is to move on and keep trying to find new friends who are more compatible, and thus have a  greater tendency to be lifelong companions.

Feeling Lonely? 4 Reasons Why & 4 Ways to Overcome it if You Feel Stuck

2. Be at peace with yourself before commencing the search.

It is essential to be at peace with yourself and to accept the person that you are before you try to solve other crises in your life.

There are various self-care types that you can practice to bring balance and peace back into your life. It’s also vital to have a self-care plan that is tailored specifically for your needs.

3. Start small and keep it slow.

Building new connections is not a race to the finish line.

You're not competing with anyone (whether outside your circle or not), but yourself. You will always be the winner in the long run, no matter how much time it takes for you to finish and achieve your goals. 

And since you will be a novice at putting yourself out there, it's best to start slow and small. You can begin with the people you already know, such as friends, family, or even co-workers you feel comfortable with.

Keep in mind, just because you already know them doesn’t mean they have your best interests at heart. They might be toxic people so it’s best to be vigilant and look out for signs. 

4. Online connections.

We are living in the best of times, where we can forge friendships, reconnect with old friends, schoolmates, college friends, and ex-colleagues. You can find them on Facebook, LinkedIn and other social networking sites.

Take the first step and contact them – ask them how they are doing and if they’re interested to hang out or talk in general. 

Two things are important:

• Taking the first step and listening or understanding what the other person is telling you
• Building that connection if you think they're genuine and the relationship is worth keeping based on your interactions

Shy & Introverted People Make Incredible Friends 

There you have it!

While we're all for making new friends, don’t forget the importance of quality over quantity because not every connection is going to be authentic and being on your own is better than fake company. 

Editor's note: This article was originally published Mar 18, 2022 and has been updated to improve reader experience.

Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash