Relationships can certainly be challenging at times, and many hearts have been broken due to breakups or divorces.
The dynamics of relationships are varied, but relationship experts have come to understand a few things about them that are helping couples grow and flourish.
The following are three red flag comments you should be on the lookout for if you’re embarking on a new relationship or have been in one for a while.
This statement may sound good in a song, but the root of this kind of thinking is desperation and neediness.
If you have ever experienced a partner making you out to be their “god”, dependent upon you for their sole happiness, then you probably can understand how annoying or repelling this can be.
This statement does not usually reflect healthy love. Here is a red flag.
Rather, it reflects a dependency on someone like an infant depends on a parent for love and attention. It usually means that psychologically, a person is in the middle of dealing with childhood wounds that are in need of healing.
The only problem is that a partner cannot heal them. A partner cannot and is not supposed to coddle and pamper and make someone else “whole”.
Feeling like you and your partner are soul mates is wonderful. Having an attachment to each other is normal. However, if you feel like you just could not go on without your partner, it’s time to do some soul searching.
Get some counseling and learn how to meet your own needs, so that you are not relying on an imperfect partner to meet them. As you grow more secure, you will be more apt to be able to form mature, lasting relationship. No doubt living without a partner can cause grief, but the reality is that you can go on without them.
This statement sets up people for heartache.
If you think you only need your partner to fulfill your every need, you set your relationship up for failure. Humans need a variety of people and things to meet their emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual needs: not just you.
If you try to get all of your needs from one person met, it’s like trying to get all of your daily recommended vitamins in one slice of pizza. It’s not going to happen.
Couples do tend to meet some needs, but it is not healthy to have the “all of nothing” mentality. If you are complaining that your gal spends a few hours a week having coffee with the girls, engaging in a Zumba class, or shopping with her mother, you’re out of line.
It’s healthy to have a life outside of you for her own personal growth. At the same time, you need a life outside of her; hobbies, friends, etc. There is a balance that you can work toward. Time together and time apart flows well.
Support the growth of your partner. Suggest they get involved in a hobby or discover something they are passionate about. You don’t only need one person. You need a host of other things to fulfill your needs too.
It’s easy to join up and think, “We are one!”
However, the reality is that you are two. Your partner does not have to be just like you. You have your needs, and they have their needs. They have their desires, and you have yours. They don’t have to be the same at all.
A mature relationship will be able to survive when partners have different passions and desires. It will also survive conflicts and disagreements. You can have similar interests on some levels, but the mentality that “we are one” and no more may set you up for failure.
Healthy love means there will be a feeling of freedom and trust on both ends. It allows each person to become their true self. Healthy love will create a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
Have you heard or said some of these relationship red flags?
If you tend to have these types of thoughts and feelings, consider doing more research on how to have a healthy relationship or see a counselor. There may be some codependent ways of relating going on.
Relationships ought to thrive abundantly, and this is my hope for all. If yours is not, take heart. It can with some knowledge, effort, and perseverance.
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8 comments on “Warning! 3 Red Flag Statements to Be Wary of in Your Relationships”
I have been subscribed to your Daily Motivation emails for quite some time now, and read my personal Motivational advice each morning while enjoying my cup of coffee. On an unconscious level, the advice given helps set the 'tone' for the, planned, and unplanned, journey that is ahead of me.
I am a single, physically disabled mother of four children. My oldest two sons (ages 29 and 26 years old) are married, without children of their own. My younger son and daughter (ages 17 and 11 years old) naturally, are still living at home, but we all are very close with each other and have always been 'emotional supporting cheerleaders' for one another.
Whenever one of us is experiencing difficulties of any type, we all know that we can find an article on your site that has suggestions of 'looking at the situation from different angles' as well as different ways to healthfully navigate through it. Any one of us will go to your site and search for articles that we feel could help.
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To all of your Team, have an awesome day!!
WOW, thank you for the support and kind words Khami! We love to hear from our community, and to know that you and your wonderful 'emotional support cheerleaders' can find help from our website fills us with gratitude. YOU are the reason we do what we do. Wishing you and your whole family the very best!
Wow just what I needed.res flags are very noticeable now. It's like a universal ADT lol.Im in a fellow ships where these are thing we call bottom line or middle line the middle and the middle line opens me up.to behaviors with someone I dated in the past. So thsnk u confirming I'm on a good path.
So happy this resonated with you Berlinda! Sometimes you just need to hear something in a different way for it to hit you. We are wishing you well on your good path 🙂
Thank You, for the red flags in my relationship. I see my partner has some issues with some of these things!! I do better, but I still need to work on myself and my other relationships as well Sincerely, Debbie G
Thanks Debbie! We all have things we need to work on, but seeing it that way can take people some time. Hopefully, you and your partner can work together and build stronger relationships, as you say. Sending you lots of positive thoughts!
Love starting my day with these words of wisdom.
Thank you Paulita! We love starting our day hearing from our fantastic community. Take care 🙂