Why You Need To Let Go of Places and People You’ve Outgrown        

By Reniel


Last Updated: October 4, 2021

You are allowed to outgrow people, places, and memories where your soul doesn’t feel vibrant around them anymore.

Plants grow by spreading their leaves towards the sun, and humans grow by having warmth, encouragement, and excitement all around them.

If you find yourself in a place that feels cold and out of place, maybe you’ve outgrown that place, people, and memories, and have to move on.

Outgrowing what used to be so important to you can sometimes feel harder than a romantic breakup, and it is for good reasons.

We grow up and get to know our environments, meet people and create memories.  All of these things form a part of our personality – of who we are – so that letting go (or outgrowing them) feels like losing a part of ourselves.

In fact, even those who successfully let go always seem to catch themselves looking back at old pictures almost in a trance-like state. Indeed it is not an easy thing to do. But it is nonetheless the best choice you could make, and here are a few reasons why: 

You May Not Be Useful For Each Other

Every phase of our lives comes with its lessons and blessings – though sometimes it can be hard to realize or appreciate.

The truth is that the people and places you feel you’ve outgrown now may have been exactly who/what you needed years back – they were your stepping stones. But like all stepping stones, their usefulness is in helping you transition.

You should appreciate that, but also realize that their role in your life has come to end, and it is time to transition and move on. 

They Can Become Toxic To You

When we cling to places, and people, despite it obviously being “time’s up”, we end up setting ourselves up for failure, heartbreaks, and problems.

There is a reason the educational system is progressive. First, you go to nursery school, then you make your way up to high school, and finally post-secondary. If you get stuck in nursery school, you risk turning the experience into a curse.

Sometimes, some places and people are only for a period of time, and it is best that way.

You Might Ruin A Good Memory If You Force Things

Other times when you stick too close to people and places, you begin to notice all the not-so-cool parts of them.

You begin to find annoyances, and ugliness in places where you never expected. Soon you realize that one of your past teachers was very unkind, and that one of your childhood friends was actually a very manipulative individual or some other disheartening realization.

Sometimes it is just good to let things go – especially when they don’t excite your soul any more. They have played their role and it is time to move on.

Read this next: 4 Things Real Friends Won't Do


12 Signs That You’ve Outgrown Someone 

  1. The value system they subscribe to differs from yours. Maybe it started gradually – maybe they were the one changing, or maybe it was you; whatever the case, your values have grown apart. 
  2. Not to mention that now you want new friends (who support your worldview and goals), not someone who counters or ignores it. 
  3. In addition to always being too busy for each other, you have become completely incompatible. 
  4. All you share with this place or person is "history" - and it's now in the past, and fast disappearing. And you even secretly pray to forget all about it soon, because... 
  5. Now, all that is left is complaints about this or that about them. 
  6. Maybe you're ashamed of them or there's an unresolved issue between you because your trust in each other has eroded, probably because of an incident that happened along the line.
  7. You also seem to have run out of things to share. You are becoming distant, both emotionally and physically. 
  8. They don't seem to understand you any more, or can accommodate you because you do not have much in common with them now. 
  9. You find yourself increasingly uneasy around them: The conversations become filled with small talk and persist on the surface level...neither can you express, or be yourself around them. You speak and act with caution – as though walking on eggshells.
  10. There is only one person who is still putting in the effort for the relationship to continue. When you objectively look at it, you don’t feel supported or welcomed either. In all honesty, the relationship is now one-sided, and dying fast.
  11. All these make you hold back from sharing your life with them so much so that they are no longer on your mind when you are making plans.
  12. And being in touch with them is not your priority any more, because you don't even enjoy spending time with them anymore. 

At the end of the day, it's up to you of course! But knowing when we have simply outgrown a relationship can be a very helpful thing for us. Making deeper connections can be very fulfilling, so knowing who and what to focus your energy on can be very powerful. 

Photo by Esther Tuttle on Unsplash


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