Don't Think You're Good Enough? How to Change Your Thoughts & Increase Your Self-Worth

By Dominica

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Last Updated: June 28, 2022

Most people struggle at some level of not feeling good enough. 

For some, this belief simmers just under the surface their entire life. They view things from this “I am not worthy” perspective that got skewed usually somewhere in childhood.

Others only deal with this type of thinking occasionally. Maybe they had an ultra-harmonious upbringing with parents who were quite healthy emotionally.

Regardless, we are all worthy and “good enough,” just because of who we are as spiritual beings journeying through life as humans.

 

"But I Don’t Feel Like I Am Good Enough"

If you talk to many therapists, they’ll tell you that underneath the thought “I am not good enough” are negative thoughts and belief patterns usually picked up somewhere in childhood. 

They can also be picked up through messages society sends, especially in marketing.

But when you begin to realize that you are not your thoughts or your emotions, you begin to see that you are “good enough” because of who you are at your core.  You’re not good enough because of what you’ve done or haven’t done. You’re good enough because you are alive.

 

Increasing Self-Worth

Feeling like you’re not good enough means you have a low self-worth.

If you struggle with low self-worth, the good news is that you can increase yours.

Low self-worth is prevalent among those who engage in negative thinking. If your thoughts are constantly bringing you down, you will feel that you are not worthy of being happy. Low self-worth can lead to many problems in life, including anxiety and depression.

However, if you can start to realize that you are far more than this thought or feeling of unworthiness, you can begin to overcome such a feeling.

Start working on your self-worth right now: Why Self-Worth Matters and How to Recognize and Improve it

 

 

You Are Not Your Thoughts

Do you want to know why you don’t feel good enough?

Simple. It's because of your thoughts.

People with low self-worth have thoughts that cause those self-destructing feelings. Your thoughts can constantly bombard you and make you believe negative things that are not true.

Common thoughts of people with low self-worth would be:

  • “No one likes me.”
  • “I have no friends.”
  • “I am not good-looking.”
  • “I am not worth anything.”
  • “I will never accomplish anything.”
  • “I am a failure.”
  • “I am not lovable.”

I am sure that everyone has thought at least one of these thoughts in their lifetime. When these thoughts start floating around in your mind, learn to recognize and put a stop to them. Remember that you are not your thoughts.

And, you can actually train your brain to think positive thoughts, such as:

  • “I am lovable and loved.”
  •  “I am beautiful inside and out.”
  • “I am worthy of being happy.”
  • “I am good enough.”
  • “I am worthy just because I am here.”

Need more positive affirmations? Visit our free Daily Affirmations page! 

 

 

Go Beyond Your Thoughts to Reality

While you may not be your thoughts, they do continue to pop into the mind regularly.

Therefore, it’s helpful to learn how to change the way you think. Learn to re-train your brain to automatically start thinking positive thoughts.

This takes time.

  • Spend time daily closing your eyes and being quiet. 
  • See what types of thoughts are popping up. 
  • If negative ones arise, notice them and then let them float away.
  • Remind yourself that you are good.
  • That you deserve peace, joy, and unconditional love.

Positive affirmations help many people train their mind to be more positive. Write some down or print some out and recite them often. You may also want to tell yourself hundreds of times daily, “I am good enough”.

Hold your head high.

No matter what your past has been, or what your present circumstances are, you are good enough. You are worthy of acceptance and love. As you receive this for yourself, you’re much more apt to hold this kind of space for others too.

Remember: You are good enough, just because.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto

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11 comments on “Don't Think You're Good Enough? How to Change Your Thoughts & Increase Your Self-Worth”

  1. sometimes our negative thoughts are actually an accurate reflection of reality though. the harsh truth is that having lost the genetic lottery, some of us simply ARE not good enough due to factors entirely beyond our control so are forced to miss out on most of what makes life worth living. in other words,the term loser can be descriptive as opposed to being a pejorative as it merely describes someone who has lost in life.

  2. Might not be good enough one way, but might overcompensate in some other way.
    People have different needs. 'Good looks' isn't enough. Could be good in other ways, and then 'genetics' wouldn't count for much.

    1. You're right Tony. "Good enough' holds different meaning for everyone. We see shows where the good looking person is horribly mean, because it turns out that they don't feel like they're smart enough, so they lash out to avoid people seeing that. Whether it's your brain, your body, your voice, your hair, your talents, we all feel not good enough sometimes.

  3. Morning gratitude journal writing down three things your grateful for has turned it around for anyone who will do it snd stick to it. And i swear bu this one

    1. Great advice Richard! Do something small every day and suddenly you have a habit! Being grateful every morning is such a powerful way to start your day. Thank you for sharing!

  4. I hear you, and that is a blunt perspective lost on many who have 'won the genetic lottery' who will object by papering over with reassuring pabulum that all can find a way through life as they did because 'hard work' and 'everyone has challenges', blah blah.
    (Much as those born on third base go through life assuming they hit a triple, that those in the dugout who have not been called up to bat have only themselves to blame.)

    But one can still choose to reframe one's own thinking from that of the unenlightened masses. Give ourselves a damn break.
    Fact is, from outside the field, one has a clearer vision what is happening at any time and more accurate assessment. That is a power in and of itself that can be harnessed and put to good, even lucrative use.
    All ARE worthy, whether or no harsh experience or unfair treatment taught us a different lesson and we can always change our choices, once we become aware of them.
    The challenge is to overcome the internal, ingrained unconscious biases against ourselves that prevent full living.

    No we may not all have what others have (I have much less than anyone else I know, ATM, but I recognize latterly it is due to unconscious 'self-protective' choices I made in life that did not help), nor can we all be astronauts without advanced science degrees, but we can still choose to acknowledge our intrinsic worth, give ourselves credit for the gifts we have and humanity and compassion we share, and allow ourselves joy.
    So many means and modalities out there...everyone's journey is different.

    1. Very well said, thank you. None of us started from the same place. And some people who started from 3rd base as you mention, go absolutely nowhere despite their advantage. Being 'good enough' comes down to ourselves believing we are. That's the hardest part. But if we own up to our choices, as you say, and decide to be proud of what we have and who we are or have become, we should certainly see our self-worth grow. Thank you for your words.

  5. The facts of life can be daunting at times simply because they may imply truth, but we are all original and unique in our ability to adapt and to make changes in our mindset and limiting beliefs. Whilst all men are created equal, all were not born equal, however being created by the Master means we are all masterpieces
    in our own rights. This salient fact daily energizes and embraces our belief, that we are here to fulfill a destiny and purpose that belongs to no one else but us. If we channel our thoughts to uphold God's view of our lives, then our future becomes brighter with hope and expectations. Thus is a process that takes time and demands a change of perspectives daily, but it is well worth the effort.

    1. Thank you for your thoughts Andy, our purpose is our own, it takes time and we have to be adaptable. Well said and good advice for us all!

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