Why You Should Set Boundaries With Yourself

By Jigeesha


Last Updated: April 3, 2021

We often tend to blame others for the dissatisfaction we feel in our lives. Other people don't do their job well, they don't respect our boundaries, they misunderstand us, and so on.

But more often than not, many of our problems are caused due to the lack of proper boundaries with ourselves.

Boundaries are an important aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. Setting boundaries requires discipline and self-awareness. It prompts you to be clear about your needs, goals, and values.

Instead of living on autopilot and wasting your potential, you become more intentional about your daily choices.

Boundaries make you fine-tune the aspects of your life that need work.

Setting healthy boundaries with yourself is as much important as setting boundaries for other people.

Here are a few reasons why you need to set healthier boundaries with yourself.

Limit harsh self-judgment

Without proper boundaries with yourself, it's easy to get carried away with harsh self-judgment. When you judge yourself too hard for your perceived failings, you feel like you are not good enough for anything, and you shouldn't even bother trying new things.

In a way, judging yourself relieves you of the responsibility for your actions. You think you are not good enough, so you rush to the conclusion that you don't have the ability to improve.

And as a result, you don't even make an effort to change. This way of thinking exacerbates your suffering.

Indulging in incessant self-criticism has plenty of negative consequences.

It lowers your confidence levels, makes you feel inadequate, and keeps you from going after what you really want.

Setting boundaries with yourself involves becoming more mindful and placing positive thought patterns in your mind. Notice when your thoughts, and feelings connected to your self-judgment turn negative.

Stop giving weight to such self-judgments.

Reframe your thoughts.

You don't have to sugarcoat everything, but don't go bashing yourself either.

For example, if you mess up a presentation at work, replace the "I suck, everyone, must be making fun of me" thoughts with empowering thoughts like "It's okay. It's over. There's no point in fretting about it. I see this as an opportunity to improve in areas where I'm lacking. I'll nail the next one".

Boundaries help you get a better grip on your emotions and take responsibility for your behaviors.

Watch the way you talk to yourself throughout the day. Avoid forming an opinion about yourself solely based on your mistakes.

Be kinder to yourself. Think about it, would you ever talk to someone else like the way you talk to yourself?

Harsh self-judgments block your way to achieving self-acceptance and unlocking new possibilities.

Acknowledge your mistakes, but recognize when you are going overboard with self-criticism. Keeping boundaries around helps you to catch yourself in a problem pattern.

Develop good habits

There are several things that may prevent you from establishing and keeping up with good habits.

First off, there's a never-ending list of excuses - not enough time/energy/resources. Then there's a lack of proper planning and motivation.

Boundaries help you challenge excuses that keep you stuck. They add structure to your daily routine.

If you want to train yourself to stick to your habits, you have to set boundaries around the things you do day in and day out.

The goal here is to enhance your ability to choose wisely.

When you clearly define which actions are good for you and which are not, you limit the number of decisions you need to make every day.

As a result, you are less likely to get distracted and fall off track.
Little changes to your thinking can greatly improve the quality of your life.

Boundaries are important for staying focused on your goals. They help you control your impatience, anger, and instinctive reactions.

Build inner strength

Boundaries are intentional choices that you make about your life. They are strategies you put in place to ensure you spend your time and energy in the most optimum way.

For example, if you're someone who tends to procrastinate a lot, setting a strict deadline and reminding yourself of the consequences of missed deadlines can help you stay focused.

Or if you are at the other end of the spectrum, i.e., you work too much and struggle to take a break, blocking out break times and unplugging entirely from work will prevent burnout.

These are the choices that serve you best even if they feel uncomfortable at the moment.

Boundaries improve your ability to resist temptations and stick to your goals. You embrace discomfort for a little while so you can get better rewards later on.

You understand the importance of being focused.

Things that don't seem like that big of a deal at the moment often end up derailing your progress.

Boundaries are necessary to honor your physical, and emotional needs.

Each day, you have to make several choices pertaining to different areas of your life - health, finances, fitness, relationships, and so on.

Setting boundaries with yourself empowers you to make healthy decisions.

Without healthy boundaries in place, you are more prone to giving in to impulsive behaviors. You are more likely to make poor choices.

There will always be things that distract us from our goals.
Boundaries help you be aware when you deviate from your path. They add structure to your everyday life and drive you towards making the choices that help you make progress.

With the help of boundaries, you can reinforce healthy behaviors and let go of unhealthy tendencies.

Remember, boundaries can vary from person to person.

What's important to you may not be a priority for someone else. Your boundaries should reflect your unique needs, goals, and priorities.

By setting boundaries with yourself, you acknowledge what's important for YOU and what's not.

Setting healthy boundaries isn't going to limit you, in fact, it's going to help you achieve more while preventing burnout and resentment. You will feel more confident and in control


Photo by cottonbro from Pexels


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