Breakups can be super tough. Whether you’ve been together a short or long-time, the weight of grief can be quite heavy.
Most of us can relate to going through a breakup. Some people have an easier time getting through them than others. For those of you who’ve recently gone through a breakup, here’s some advice that will hopefully help you through this rough patch.
It helps to talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling. Venting to a trusted family member or friend can help you process some of those rough emotions. It’s alright to feel the weight of grief at the moment. After all, working through grief is a process.
So, if you’re struggling, call up or visit a friend and share with them how you’re feeling. Let them know you’re not looking for them to fix you. You simply want them to hold the space for you to share the weight of how you're feeling.
2. Start Journaling
Journaling your thoughts and feelings can help decrease the weight of grief over the ended relationship. Writing is a wonderful way to express all of your feelings, and knowing no one else will read your thoughts helps.
Journal regularly. If you’re seeking some writing prompts, check out Healing After a Breakup: A 50-Day Devotional & Guided Inner Work Journal. The questions will help you sift and sort out many of the emotions you’re experiencing, and help you heal areas in your life that may need healing.
3. Practice Self-Care
It’s easy to let yourself go when you’re grieving an ended relationship. While it's understandable to lounge around in your sweats for a few days, you may want to remind yourself to eat and nurture yourself. Taking care of yourself mentally and physically can help you create some forward momentum. If you find yourself struggling to get through the days, be sure to take some time listening or watching inspirational or motivational information. You may need the daily reminders to eat, shower, and get off that couch to get things done.
4. Get a Hobby
Now’s a great time to start a new hobby. What is it that you’ve been wanting to do, but you’ve put it off? What did you used to do that you loved, but stopped along life’s journey?
There are many hobbies to choose from, including painting, hiking, playing a sport, biking, woodworking, singing, gardening, writing, working out, and more.
5. Read Good Books
It may help you to read some good books while you’re moving on. Choose some geared toward living the kind of life you truly desire or how you can show up at your best in your next relationship. There are also many wonderful YouTube videos on thousands of topics. Spend some time daily feeding your mind and soul, and you’ll likely get through this rough patch faster.
6. Talk to a Therapist
If you’re struggling more than you can handle, consider reaching out to a therapist. There are plenty of therapists these days that work remotely and offer a sliding fee scale. You may be able to find a therapist for less than $40 a session. Seeking professional help is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, seeing a therapist after a breakup is the perfect time to go to a therapist. You can process the relationship and breakup with a professional, and work on doing any inner healing work that you may need to do. This will help you in a future relationship.
7. Go No Contact
If your relationship is truly over, you may want to go no contact with your ex. Many times, one or both partners will try to keep contact for a variety of reasons. This is usually more challenging than it's worth. Take some time to really focus on your own inner life during this time. Whether you broke up with your ex or they broke up with you, it's wise to just let each other be for the time being. Maybe down the road you'll be able to reconnect in some fashion or form, but for now the space that you give each other can be an opportunity for both of you to learn some valuable lessons about yourselves and life in general.
8. Do Breathwork
Dealing with high anxiety is common after a breakup. Breathwork can help decrease that anxiety. Check out Andrew Weil’s breathing techniques. The 4-7-8 technique has helped me curb anxiety many times. Along with breathwork, you can spend some daily time in quiet meditation. This helps you calm the nervous system and remind yourself that in the present moment, all is well.
9. Rebuild Yourself
Now’s the perfect time to build up your self-esteem and self-worth. It’s likely you’ve got some extra time on your hands, so use it to recreate yourself in ways that help you feel happier. While it may be tough to focus on anything positive while you’re grieving, it is possible little by little. Even if you take five minutes a day to purposefully concentrate on building your self-esteem, you’ll be working on growing your self-worth and feelings of joy.
When you’re stuck in grief after a breakup, it can feel like life will never be good again. When this thought comes in your head, try to remember all the people in the world that have gotten through a breakup and once again experienced goodness. The reality is that breakups occur for a variety of reasons, but that doesn’t mean that you will never experience joy again.
You will. It may take some time and effort on your part, but trust that as you do your part, joy will come again. If partnership is what you desire, trust that in the future, you will partner up with someone who you truly adore and vice versa. Faith can go a long way, so commit to trusting the process.
I’ll end this article by encouraging you to do something that you enjoy doing each day. Even if it’s just five or ten minutes, engage in activities that help you smile and feel good. Put on some good music and dance. Play with your dog. Get together with a friend and do something you enjoy. Watch a good movie. Get into nature and find some joy among the beauty there.
Little by little, more joy will come back into your life.
Trust the process.
August 8, 2022
August 6, 2022